"Jersey Shore" stars Ronnie, Vinny, Pauly D and Mike "The Situation"
Photo: Emily Shur
This is just crazy.
Our mission is to select our five favorite moments from the second season of "Jersey Shore," but how can we choose? Where does one draw the line? Remember the time the Situation and his date picked out some pre-coital pajamas before they even went out on the town for the first time? Gross! Or the evening when nice guy Vinny was stood up by the girl he'd basically already decided would become his wife? Sad! How about JWoww's smush chart, Angelina's tampon or that poor girl's plastic cleavage enhancer floating in the hot tub?
Good times, all. But none of them make our top five. That's just the kind of season it's been. Which is to say: awesome. Here are the moments we enjoyed the most.
The Situation's Egg Sandwich
So it's 6 a.m and Sitch and Pauly have failed in their nightly quest to get it in. Nothing a quick phone call can't solve, at least for Pauly, who wrangles a classy lady over for a sunrise smush. The Situation was not as lucky, and rather than just call it a night (or a morning), he cooked himself one seriously tasty egg sandwich and happily declared, "I had a first-row seat for a slam session!"
There Sitch lay on his bed, munching away while Pauly got busy doing his thing. Creepy? Fraternal? Homoerotic? All of the above? At least the Situation was considerate enough to ask his buddy, "You want half?"
Pauly, to his credit, did not make the same offer.
Uncle Nino
Our only regret when it comes to Uncle Nino is that he has not been made a full-time castmember. Yet.
In a season filled with new pleasures and perils, Vinny's uncle was easily the most entertaining fresh face of them all. You could barely understand a word the guy said, but that didn't stop the potbellied, vino-swilling Nino from being utterly endearing, the life of the party, a true and unforgettable character. During his brief time on the show, he snuggled with JWoww in the hot tub, told largely incomprehensible stories at the dinner table and, well, won our hearts.
T-Shirt Time
This was not so much a moment as an ongoing theme. The boys' wardrobe routine has gifted the pop-culture lexicon with some brillz lingo ("Shirt before the shirt" is a phrase that will survive the apocalypse, like cockroaches and Pauly's 'do). But for sheer exuberance and the way it sums up an entire philosophy in just two words, one cannot beat the oft-repeated chant of "T-shirt time."
As in, you've downed a bunch of Ron Ron juice, the cabs are minutes away from whisking you away to Klutch, you just know it's gonna be a sick night, and you call out to your homies, "It's T-shirt tiiiiiiiiiime!" and they shout back, "It's T-shirt tiiiiiiiiiime!"
Ronnie and the Jell-O Shot Girl
Depending on how you view the drama between Ron Ron and Sammi, this was the moment that either launched a thousand yawns or kick-started episode after episode of curse-laden reality-show gold.
The duo had barely been in Miami long enough to get a tan before Ronnie ended up sucking face with two (un)lucky ladies and, as he later bragged, "I was onstage motor-boating the Jell-O shot girls."
Sammi and Ron's drama then took over the show for a few weeks. Remember those fights? And the anonymous letter? And, um, those other fights? It all started when Ronnie went out and, in his precious words, "did mad work tonight."
Snooki vs. Angelina
"Hold my earrings, please." With that dainty request from Snickers, the season's best fight was under way. Together, the girls tossed and turned like a multi-tentacled monster out of "Cloverfield," except with better tans, as Sitch moved the living-room table out of the way and the boys called out the rounds.
Hair was pulled, punches were thrown and bitches were encouraged to bring it on. And Snooki laid down the greatest taunt ever heard during a girl-on-girl throw-down: "Hey, I'm still pretty!"
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